i hate spotify ads because i listen to playlists in the shower a lot and there is nothing more startling than being completely naked and suddenly hearing lebron james say “i’ll tell you what makes me thirsty”
you are not fat
you have fat
you also have fingernails
you are not fingernail
imagine if vulcans had super popular boy-bands
imagine the concerts
all of the fangirls decked out in their merch just standing in rows with straight faces
"This band makes me emotionally compromised."
"I have lost the ability to do anything at all."
"I cannot continue my existence. This is too fascinating."